When You Lose a Loved One (Paperback)

Chapter One

To begin with, every one of us is interested in death, because we know that someday we are going to die. A lot of people are afraid of death, and their fear takes much of the joy out of living. Many refuse to think about it at all. But death is not a monster; it is our best friend, and if we could be convinced of that, life would be so much freer and happier.

Recently, I was visiting a dear old lady in the hospital. Through the years she had developed a marvelous Christian faith, and now, as the shades were swiftly being drawn for her, she said to me, "Dr. Allen, the Father's house is mighty attractive to me now." She has suffered much, and, instead of dreading death, she looks forward to it as the greatest blessing of her life. She is not the least bit afraid. On the contrary, as she is coming in sight of the other shore, there is a radiant joy in her heart.

One of the greatest scientists this world has ever produced is Thomas A. Edison. He was a very exact man and was never satisfied until he had the full and final truth. His statements were always based on proved facts. When Mr. Edison was dying, he was heard to whisper, "It is very beautiful over there."

Thomas A. Edison, a genuine scientist and scholar, would never have said that had it not been true. "It is very beautiful over there"-he was reporting what he saw.

As Robert Louis Stevenson came to his last moment on earth, he whispered, "If this is death, it is easy." Alfred Lord Tennyson was convinced that this life is the "dull side of death."

Of course, the best and surest testimony that we have is in the Book that is the truest and surest of all books. John had started with Christ as a very young man. He made a lot of mistakes, but through the years of his long life he had been faithful. Now he was exiled on the Island of Patmos-a foul place, where he was separated from those he loved and from the work so dear to his heart.

But there is always compensation for our sorrows and disappointments and, to compensate dear old patient John, God rolled back the curtain and let him look over to the other side. What a marvelous report he gave us!

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. Revelation 21:4

After he had seen that, John was never afraid again. And on the basis of his sure testimony, no one of us should ever fear going to a place like that.

Of course, no person in his right mind wants to die. We should want very much to live. I can speak from experience here. One night a physician told me I was going to die, and for a time I believed it. I can testify that when you come face to face with death it is not bad. I can honestly say I was not the least bit afraid.

On the other hand, I very much wanted to live. I had a wife and baby and longed to stay with them. Also, I had just started in my life's work and I wanted to continue it. That night I prayed, "Lord, I am not afraid to die, yet I very much want to live."

It is good to want to live. On the other hand, we should never let the fear of death become a dark shadow over our lives, shutting out the sunshine of God's wonderful love.

I Do Not Go Alone

If death should beckon me with outstretched hand And whisper softly of "an unknown land," I shall not be afraid to go, For though the path I do not know, I take death's hand without a fear, For He who safely brought me here Will also take me safely back, And though in many things I lack, He will not let me go alone Into the "valley that's unknown" ... So I reach out and take death's hand And journey to the "Promised Land"!

Doorway To A Larger Life

Death is the doorway to a larger life. I can understand this well because about the hardest thing in the life of a minister is moving away from a church he has served. As pastor, you come to love the people very deeply. You baptize their babies, marry their young people, bury their loved ones. You visit the sick, comfort the sorrowing, and thrill with many who find Christ as their Saviour.

However, when it comes time to move, you think of the church to which you are going. When I came to Grace in Atlanta I hated to leave Thomson, where I had been the pastor for four years. But then I thought of being pastor of a great church on a main thoroughfare in a big city. As I thought of the much greater opportunities, moving became a thrilling experience.

Death is like that. We hate to leave the associations and interests of this life, but then there is a larger life waiting beyond! There is something glorious and joyful about it.

Death Is a Doorway

On the "wings of death" the "soul takes flight" Into the land where "there is no night"- For those who believe what the Saviour said Will rise in glory though they be dead ... So death comes to us just to "open the door" To the Kingdom of God and life evermore.

Every mile we walk in sorrow Brings us nearer to God's tomorrow!

God Is the God He Is

We need not fear death, because God is the God He is. Think of how wise and tender God is. When He brought us into this world, He planned it so beautifully. Can you think of a better way to be born than into the bosom of a mother? God made mothers. And if God so planned our birth in such lovely fashion, we can rest assured that He has planned our entrance into the next world in some manner that will be good, and even wonderful.

A mother who had lost a baby said to me, "I am so worried thinking about who will take care of it." I assured her that just as God had planned for her to take care of the precious little one in this world, we could be certain that He had just as lovingly planned for her baby's care in His great and eternal house.

The Tiny "Rosebud" God Picked To Bloom in Heaven

The Master Gardener From heaven above Planted a seed In the garden of love And from it there grew A rosebud small That never had time To open at all, For God in His perfect And all-wise way Chose this rose For His heavenly bouquet And great was the joy Of this tiny rose To be the one our Father chose To leave earth's garden For One on high Where roses bloom always And never die ... So, while you can't see Your precious rose bloom, You know the Great Gardener From the "Upper Room" Is watching and tending This wee rose with care, Tenderly touching Each petal so fair ... So think of your darling With the angels above Secure and contented And surrounded by love, And remember God blessed And enriched your lives, too, For in dying your darling Brought heaven closer to you!

God Needed an Angel in Heaven

When Jesus lived upon the earth so many years ago, He called the children close to Him because He loved them so ... And with the tenderness of old, that same sweet, gentle way, He holds your little loved one close within His arms today ... And you'll find comfort in your faith that in His home above The God of little children gives our little ones His love ... So think of your little darling lighthearted and happy and free Playing in God's Promised Land where there is joy eternally.

When A Loved One Has Died

Here on this earth we are gathered together in families. Our loved ones become inexpressibly precious to us. We live in intimate associations. One gets so close to mother and father, wife or husband, sons and daughters, that they literally become a part of one's very life. Then comes a day when a strange change comes over one we love.

He is transformed before our very eyes. The light of life goes out of him. He cannot speak to us nor we to him. He is gone and we are left stunned and heartbroken. An emptiness and loneliness comes into our hearts. We brokenheartedly say, "That one whom I loved is dead." It is such a cold, hopeless thing to realize.

Then, out of the very depths of our despair, like the melody of music coming from a mighty organ, like the refreshing sound of rippling waters, comes that marvelous declaration of our Lord:

I am the resurrection, and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: And whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. John 11:25, 26

Then we know! We know we have not lost our loved ones who have died. We have been separated, and so long as we live there will be an empty place left in our hearts. To some extent, the loneliness will always be there. But when we really know that one is not forever lost, it does take away the sorrow. There is a vast difference between precious memories, loneliness, the pain of separation, on the one hand, and a sorrow that ruins and blights our lives, on the other hand.

"I Am the Way, the Truth, and the Life" I am the way so just follow Me Though the way be rough and you cannot see ...

I am the truth which all men seek So heed not "false prophets" nor the words that they speak ...

I am the life and I hold the key That opens the door to eternity ...

And in this dark world I am the light To the Promised Land where there is no night!

Death Is Not A Bad Experience

It is good to remember that death itself is not a bad experience. Some time ago there was an article in McCall's magazine entitled, "How Does It Feel to Die?" It was written by nine eminent physicians. The article quoted a statement by the famous Dr. William Osler, "Most human beings not only die like heroes, but, in my wide clinical experience, die really without pain or fear." All nine of the doctors agreed with that statement.

Dr. H. D. Van Fleet sums up the findings of all nine doctors. He says:

I use the word sweetness in connection with death. As a doctor who has seen many people expire, I know it is often sweet to die. Frequently I have seen a change of expression as the moment of death approached, almost a smile, before the last breath was taken. Science cannot explain this, as science cannot explain the dynamic power which controls life. What one may see at the point of death will probably remain an eternal mystery. But it should remain, too, a vision with no terrors for any of us.

A woman told me after a service recently that she could testify to the correctness of the above statement. She was out swimming in the ocean and was pulled under. She was in the very process of drowning, and almost did drown. But just before she lost consciousness, the one thought that filled her mind was this: "Mama will worry about me, but I wish she knew how easy it is."

When we realize that death was really an easy and happy experience for our loved one, that helps a lot.

(Continues...)